jesus: mom i told you i didn't want a big party
mary: THE WHOLE WORLD WILL CELEBRATE EVERY YEAR
In pop culture, girls who crush hopelessly on guys they can’t have are painted...– Lamenting the Friendzone, or: The Nice Guy Approach to Perpetuating Sexist Bullshit (via eatfromthetrees)
You may not agree with a woman, but to criticize her appearance — as opposed to...– Hillary Clinton (via girlbabe)
johnquincyadams: my new years resolution is to be meaner and hotter
jaaaaaaaaaackfrost: the moon is kind of a creep the sun is polite and leaves when it’s night time meanwhile during the day sometimes you can see the moon just watching
a guide to uk cities for foreign people
manchester: gays. you will probably get mugged.
liverpool: like manchester, but less gay. you will definitely get mugged.
newcastle: probably quite good for canadians as exists in permafrost and has never left the 90s.
leeds: it's a lot cheaper than london
bradford: leeds but awful
nottingham: gun death capital of the uk!
derby: intense rivalry with nottingham, literally no one else in the country or world gives any f*cks about this.
hull: violently resist anyone who attempts to take you here
leicester: i'm not sure this is a real place
york: this is an illustration from the top of a christmas biscuit assortment
brighton & hove: more gays. is only a pretend city. mild to moderate chance of mugging. contains some deeply annoying hippies. basically if san francisco was british.
portsmouth: there is literally nothing here.
southampton: exactly the same as portsmouth but smells of off milk
bristol: you have a 1 in 10 chance of ending up in a bbc recording. everyone sounds like a farmer or bob marley.
cardiff: you have a 1 in 5 chance of ending up in a bbc recording, and a 1 in 3 chance of being glassed.
plymouth: post apocalyptic wind tunnel full of drunk sailors pissing on depressed hookers. do not enter.
penzance: everyone here is from london now.
london: no one from london is actually from london and even breathing is expensive.
cambridge: windy and full of equal amounts of homeless drug addicts and public schoolboys. the junkies are nicer.
oxford: same number of c***s as cambridge but easier to escape from due to all-night bus to london
edinburgh: a goth turned into a city. basically london but slightly more scottish.
glasgow: it is impossible to tell whether people are angry or happy.
aberdeen: las vegas at the point when vegas starts crying uncontrollably
belfast: do not order "an irish car bomb" OR "a black and tan" here.
wolverhampton: really, really don't.
norwich: count people's fingers. mutations walk here.
coventry: like plymouth, bombed flat in ww2. like plymouth, failed to take the hint. like plymouth: do not alight here.
wells: so tiny and filled with country bumpkins that it got used as the setting for the VILLAGE in hot fuzz. there is also a suspiciously low crime rate...
worcester: a blend between pretty tudor houses, ugly 60s buildings, forests, and sauce.
If men can talk about drinking in every awesome rock ‘n’ roll song and every...– Ke$ha on sexism in pop music (via ellesugars) Reminder that Ke$ha is probably one of the most intelligent and admirable women in the world i hav finally gained some respect for her. (via transhumanisticpanspermia)
sometimes I get frustrated because you can’t put numbers in caps 12 am I screaming? you’ll never know
grassfire: Imagine if Breaking Bad was set in Canada or the UK or Australia. Walt discovers he has lung cancer, is promptly treated at no cost and discharged with no financial burden apart from $20 in subsidised prescriptions. The end.
simonsfoster: littlerubberducky: It’s 22nd December. It’s official. The world has been picked up for another season. #despite the low ratings #and the horrible plot #and the characters going crazy
Plot Twist: Australia and New Zealand unite to stop the apocalypse.
thehiddentriforce: captain-snark: godtie: do you ever just glance at a guys crotch and think “theres a dick there” There’s the possibility of there being a dick there, you can’t know until the pants are open and the dick is confirmed to either exist or not. Schrodinger’s peen I thought they were going to take some social justice stance there for a sec but then nope
sasstrophysics: do u ever just love someone so much u just
dampsandwich: blog so hard i need a seat belt on my computer chair
fatherfistmas: allthestoriessaretrue: ur not a true fan unless you hang from the ceiling and spin around in circles, providing cool air for everyone around you
thepurposeismypenis: i’m not gonna tell you how to run your life but if you don’t think this looks like legolas and aragorn are getting married you’re just flat out wrong
nakedongreenbeers: If I ever get married my wedding vows will include “because life is long and you are hot” and no one can stop me.
iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou: the-darkmortaldevices: hillaryrodham: i wish i lived in europe you can literally ride a bike for about 20 minutes and end up in a different country with a completely different culture if i ride a bike here for 20 minutes i’d just end up at another walmart another section of walmart i dunno man you ride a bike for 20 minutes in london and all you get for...
8yrs: hd pictures of food make me angry
8yrs: hd pictures of food make me angry
darrynek: are you a traffic sign because stop
rnarker: the sexual tension between you and the person who sits behind you in class when you have to pass papers back to them
i feel uncomfortable and out of place in 98% of all situations
Why does a tragedy like 9/11 change everything about air travel, but numerous...– Justine Bateman, hitting the nail on the head. (via coketalk)
jacknoir: i really fuckin dislike people who think they are superior for typing w proper grammar or for drinking tea or loving british shows or not wearing revealing clothing or not having sex like wow idc if you do those things but if you think it makes you special or better than others get down here and ill fight u
skinks: why can’t feminism be spread like vampirism and zombies and shit like you bite someone and they stop being a misogynistic fucktrumpet
chaystar: 100% sure im ugly as hell and yet I still expect to be in a relationship with a hot person
me when i go out: i should've stayed home
me when i stay home: i should've gone out
me when i'm around people: i want to be alone
me when i'm alone: i want to be around people
me when i'm mean to people: i need to be nicer
me when i'm nice to people: i need to be meaner
me when i'm on tumblr: all is right with the world
witneyhouston: im having one of those nights where u watch one youtube video and watch a related video and 3 hours later ur watching an hour long conspiracy documentary about how the illuminati killed michael jackson
pizzaforpresident: forfuturereferenceonly: pizzaforpresident: someone called my haircut gay i don’t see it Hair is not sentient and cannot identify as gay. People are so fucking creative these days. How many adjectives are there to describe someone’s hair? A lot. Pick a more suitable word. If you ever reblog one of my posts again I will report you to the FBI.
cresselia: quick lets talk shit about the amish theyll never know
aradiamegidoo: girls who think they’re cool because they make women in the kitchen jokes